The Power of Praise

Reuben became could you repeat that? He became as – so the text seems to imply – his father’s attention was elsewhere; he did not thoughtfulness in support of either Leah or her sons (the text itself says, “the noble saying so as to Leah was not loved”). Reuben knew this and felt intensely his mother’s indignity and his father’s evident lack of interest.

People need encouragement if they are going in front. It is fascinating to contrast the hesitant Reuben with the self-assured, even over-confident Joseph, loved and favored by his father. If we care for our children to allow the confidence to comport yourself whilst charge is desirable, afterward we allow to allow, promote and praise them.

There is a fascinating Mishnah in Ethics of the Fathers (Avot 2: 10-11):

Rabban Yochanan Ben Zakkai had five (pre-eminent) disciples, namely Rabbi Eliezer Ben Hyrcanus, Rabbi Joshua Ben Chananya, Rabbi Yose the Priest, Rabbi Shimon Ben Netanel, and Rabbi Elazar Ben Arakh. He used to recount their praise: Eliezer Ben Hyrcanus:  A plastered wall so as to in no way loses a decline. Joshua Ben Chananya:  Exultant the single who gave him birth. Yose the Priest:  A religious man. Shimon Ben Netanel:  A man who fears sin. Elazar Ben Arakh: An ever-flowing spring.

Why does the Mishnah, whose goal is to teach us lasting truths, break us this apparently trivial story of Rabban Yohanan Ben Zakkai’s pupils and could you repeat that? He used to call them? The answer, I believe, is so as to the Mishnah is decisive us how to raise disciples, how to be a coach, teacher and show: By alert praise.

The Mishnah does not simply say so as to Yohanan Ben Zakkai thought fine things almost his students. It uses a rare locution: “He used to count [moneh] their praise,” import, his assured remarks were precise and accurate embattled. He told both of his disciples could you repeat that? Their definite strength was.

Eliezer Ben Hyrcanus had an outstanding remembrance. At an instant whilst the oral law was not yet in black and white down, he possibly will recall the teachings of the tradition better than a person as well. Elazar Ben Arakh was creative, able to come up to up with an endless torrent of fresh interpretations. When we keep to our noteworthy passions and gifts, we donate to the humanity could you repeat that? Simply we can break.

However, the detail so as to we might allow an exceptional gift might plus mean so as to we allow conspicuous deficiencies. No single has all the strengths. Sufficient if we allow single. But our duty plus know could you repeat that? We lack.

Eliezer Ben Hyrcanus became so fixated on the onwards so as to he resisted amend even whilst it was categorical on by the majority of his colleagues. Eventually he was excommunicated in support of failing to take his colleagues’ ruling (Baba Metzia 59b).

Elazar Ben Arakh’s lot was even sadder. After the death of Yohanan Ben Zakkai, he separated from his colleagues. They went to Yavneh; he went to Hamat (Emmaus). It was a pleasant place to live and it was anywhere his wife’s type lived. Apparently he was so self-assured of his intellectual gifts so as to he held he possibly will keep up his scholarship by himself. Eventually he forgot everything he had endlessly learned (Avot de-Rabbi Natan 14: 6). The man more exceptional than his contemporaries eventually died while making almost nix lasting contributions to the tradition.

There is a delicate balance linking the neglect so as to lead to someone to lack the confidence to act the de rigueur deed, and the disproportionate praise or favoritism so as to create overconfidence and the belief so as to you are better than others. That balance is de rigueur if we are to be the sunlight so as to help others grow.